My daughter forces me to be her husband in her faux weddings

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Expensive Care and Feeding,

I’m the daddy of two daughters, ages 3 and 6. I’m very affectionate with my kids and wish to proceed cultivating an in depth bond with them. Not too long ago, my oldest daughter has found the concept of marriage and loves taking a look at wedding ceremony footage of my spouse and me, and different members of the family.

My downside is that she likes to play faux wedding ceremony and attempt to kiss me on the lips saying “We’re married” (I don’t take part in any taking part in/ceremony however as the one male in the home grow to be the default husband). It makes me uncomfortable and I flip my head so she kisses me on the cheek, and normally say one thing like, “Dads don’t marry their daughters” in a light-hearted manner. It looks like an inexpensive boundary to attract however I’m afraid she’s going to really feel rejected or not perceive, and I’m undecided if my response is enough. What can be the correct solution to clarify the distinction in varieties of affection?

—Doting Daddy

Expensive Doting, 

It is a nice alternative so that you can discuss to your daughters in regards to the various varieties of loving relationships that individuals can expertise. Clarify to her that fathers and daughters (like moms and daughters, brothers and sisters, or grandparents and grandchildren) love one another very a lot, and present affection towards each other, however that it’s a distinct sort of love than what two people who find themselves married have. Each types of love are lovely and vital, however they appear completely different in observe. People who find themselves married are inclined to have what is named a “romantic” kind of relationship, which implies that they wish to be in one another’s lives and create a brand new, chosen household collectively. Kin can not have romantic relationships with each other; as an alternative, they’ve “familial” love, which is a particular bond all by itself.

Let your daughter know that your love her very a lot, and that you just love to indicate your affection towards her with hugs and kisses, however it’s merely a distinct sort of affection than what you will have for her mom, and that it will be inappropriate (a phrase she is sufficiently old to grow to be conversant in) for a daddy and daughter to have the identical sort of love. Clarify that it will be higher to play “wedding ceremony” with dolls or stuffed animals, versus a daddy and daughter. She’ll doubtless let go of this fixation in time, and as long as you stay affectionate and current, there’s no want for her to really feel rejected by you.

—Jamilah

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