Fashion Invitational contest Week 1510: Poems with only one vowel

JANKY: Shoddy, defective (plus SUS) Although offers abound at Greenback Plus, Sure merch ought to nonetheless appear sus, For if you happen to’re planning hanky-panky, Your condoms merely cannot be janky. (Jeff Rackow, Bethesda, Md.) LEWK: Private trend model (as in “look”) In case you frequent the luxurious ski resorts And you see a younger fellow who sports activities Light-weight shorts together with his parka and hat You would possibly ask your self, “What’s up with that?” “Was his baggage misplaced? Is he a kook?” Meet the snowboarder-wannabe lewk. (Terri Berg Smith, Rockville, Md.) GREENWASH: To publicize an organization’s environmental efforts to reduce the harm it’s truly inflicting Firms trying to greenwash Their air pollution can’t get a clear wash Of their foul status, Which smells to the nation Like a non-public who’s completed a latrine wash.
(David Mayerovitch, Ottawa, a First Offender) BIRRIA: A Mexican meat stew A Bostonian’s Critique of a Mexican Restaurant Their birria Is infirria. (Michael Stein, Arlington, Va.) DAWN CHORUS: The chattering of birds as day breaks Monday there’s mowing at quarter to eight. Tuesday the prepare passes carrying freight. Wednesday we hear from the rooster subsequent door; Thursday the road cleansing occurs at 4. Friday the rubbish cans bang on the road, Weekends, the paper goes thwump! at my toes. All whereas I’m nonetheless in my slippers and flannel; If that is my daybreak refrain, please change the channel! (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Md.) KRATOM, a standard psychoactive drug, pronounced both krayt’em or kratt’em My boss gave a harsh ultimatum: “Promote these meds, regardless that individuals hate ’em.” So I hawked yucky drops; Although they’re usually flops, All of them offered, ’trigger I spiked them with kratom! (Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Md.) Kratom is a stimulant in small doses however a sedative at excessive doses. I took just a little kratom, and felt a surge of pleasure, After which I took just a little extra — O boy! O boy! O boy! One other batch went down the hatch, a fairly humongous dose, And that’s the reason you discovered me right here, fully comatose. I’ve discovered the reality at this time, forsooth, and child, that is it: That you must cut up the kratom—and take just a bit bit. (Stephen Gold, London) LARP: Reside-action function enjoying My spouse loves Harry Potter LARPing; Might this interest value me extra? She says that I ought to stop my carping… However her “home”? It’s Gryffin-Dior. (Mark Raffman) Stated a shivering man in a tarp, “Dude, you understand me, I don’t wish to carp, However this role-playing recreation Is disagreeable and lame. Why’d you make a Fyre Competition LARP?” (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) HAIRY EYEBALL, a disapproving glare As soon as upon a morning early, whereas I slumbered, drained and surly, Having stayed up a lot too late out partying the evening earlier than— After snoozing for an hour, out of the blue I noticed a glower, Disapproving, moderately bitter, obvious from my bed room door. ’Twas my mom’s bushy eyeball, and I knew what was in retailer … Didn’t sleep a minute extra. (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.) “The bushy eyeball” means a unclean look, The type you’d give a pervert or a criminal. However if you happen to’re studying English, this expression Would possibly result in a lamentable transgression, Like asking (if the which means’s misconstrued): “Do bushy eyeballs need to be shampooed?” (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.) LEVEL UP: Advance to the subsequent stage To stage up our lives, what if we tried To not make yet another dang factor gamified? (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pa.) MacGYVER: To trend an answer to an issue utilizing no matter odd supplies can be found Paper clip, gum wrapper, security pin, dime, Damaged-down watch that not tells time, Eraserless pencil honed all the way down to a nub, Many years-old membership card for the membership, Spare covid checks (’trigger there’s nonetheless a pandemic), Rocks which have undergone modifications alchemic. You gonna MacGyver a snare for a criminal? Nope, that’s simply from cleansing out Mother’s pocketbook. (Sarah Walsh) SUS: Suspect or suspicious; of doubtful high quality The lyrics Ira Gershwin wrote I discover banal and gauche. With all these twee truncated phrases Like ’magine and emosh.’ Now “’swonderful” and “’smarvelous” Might swimsuit you to a T. However “fash” and “pash” and all the remaining – They simply appear sus to me. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore) “Need to journey?” They discovered us and mentioned, “You may have a brand new residence and clear mattress!” “That flier appears sus…” “Oh, don’t be a wuss!” Martha’s Winery – we had been misled. (Matthew Zimmer, New York) TATER TOTS, STROMBOLI What phrases are thrilling, unique and new At Merriam-Webster in 9/22? There’s one thing referred to as “Tater Tots,” additionally “stromboli.” They need to not get out a lot, or else they work slowly. (Jonathan Jensen) SIDE HUSTLE, a supplementary job As a aspect hustle, Uber’s a curse, For the revenue may hardly be worse! I’ll concede, although, I do know That I would make extra dough If my car weren’t a hearse. (Mark Raffman) And Final:A aspect hustle might be a great factor to do In case you’re wanting just a little extra cash to accrue. However these poems I’ve written simply aren’t the way in which— In The Fashion Invitational, rhyme doesn’t pay. (Jesse Frankovich)