Fashion Conversational Week 1506: The limerick? Good. The story? Wow.

“For no matter benefit the limerick lacks poetically, this really occurred to me …”

I don’t see the entrants’ names after I choose the contests, however I had to look this individual up and ask.

“It’s a little bit of an embarrassing story,” begins Bob Prouty of Arlington, Va., whom we all know primarily because the dad of the precocious Sean Bender-Prouty, who snarfed up a number of blots of Invite ink when he was nonetheless in center faculty. “I acquired bit in the one place I can’t showcase my scars.

“It occurred in 1983 after I was running a secondary school in what was then Zaire. I really feel as if I’ve to preface the story by saying that I assumed I used to be being cautious, or that there have been different individuals within the water earlier than I acquired in, no hippos in sight, however —

“I used to be swimming within the Semliki River at a spot referred to as Ishango, together with dozens of different individuals, however someway I used to be the one within the mistaken place on the mistaken time. It took me underneath the floor for half a minute or so — and the one factor I might suppose was: ‘Isn’t my life alleged to be flashing earlier than my eyes? I’m getting nothing.’

“So it was all a bit anticlimactic. I curled up in a ball. It walked round on the underside of the river with me in its mouth, and simply after I was starting to surprise how lengthy I might maintain my breath, it let me go. No severe injury achieved. A couple of sore ribs, fairly a number of stitches, and all I’ve to point out for it are some very spectacular scars that you just’ll need to take my phrase for.”

I’m sorry, Bob, however having a hippopotamus (typical weight: greater than 3,000 kilos, properly over twice the scale of a horse) choose up your balled-up self in its mouth — a mouth that’s two ft broad and accommodates “large tusk-like canines and razor-sharp incisors, capable of biting a small boat in half” — and stroll round with you underwater till disgorging you again into the Semliki River: Anticlimactic?

Welp, a lot for my battle story of being attacked in my driveway by the rabid raccoon 9 years in the past. Then again, I’m good, thanks.

Anyway, as we speak’s inking limericks: As at all times, they’re excellent, simply as in our 18 earlier Limerixicon contests, every of which targeted on some sliver of the dictionary being compiled, in such order since 2004, at OEDILF.com, the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick type. (So long as you promise to not forsake the Invite, I encourage you to submit limericks there as properly, together with each your inking and non-inking entries to this contest; should you did get ink, let OEDILF know and credit score us. There’s a crew of veteran limericians who’ll “workshop” your limerick with you to enhance each type and content material.)

The “Jane EyreBandB” earns the primary Clowning Achievement trophy however under no circumstances the primary Invitational win for Stephen Gold, previously of Glasgow and now of London. Stephen began coming into the Invite (and instantly getting ink) throughout Limerixicon 5 in 2008 and has continued to drop by sometimes — nearly at all times efficiently — ever since with limericks, track parodies and the occasional non-Loserbard contest. Stephen additionally performed host to no less than two Losers visiting Scotland through the years, and he and his spouse had dinner with a gaggle of us — and a pleasant lunch with me after I couldn’t make it — once they visited Washington in 2012.

Like a lot of as we speak’s inking Losers, Stephen additionally despatched some worthy entries that made my shortlist however missed the ultimate lower. (YOU, pricey non-inking reader, may additionally have suffered this destiny; I don’t know, although, as a result of I appeared up solely the inking entries, to see who’d written them; solely then did I see what else that Loser had despatched.) Right here was one in all Stephen’s that, in limerick custom, was intelligent however questionably tasteful:

The opposite three members of this week’s Losers’ Circle have turn into Invite family names: Chris Doyle because the unsurpassable GOAT, and Karen Lambert and Coleman Glenn, two almost-newbies who’ve already made an unlimited affect on the current Invite. As tennis star Frances Tiafoe stated of 19-year-old super-phenom Carlos Alcaraz final Sunday after dropping to him on the U.S. Open, they’re “gonna be an issue for a very long time.” I — and Fashion Invitational followers — definitely hope so.

What Happy Ponch: Faves this week of Ace Copy Editor Ponch Garcia embody Stephen Gold’s winner “Jane EyreBandB”; Karen Lambert’s runner-up with “hitch your star to a wagon” — what Lassie’s director wished to do when the pooch was “laggin’ ”; Coleman Glenn’s encounter with a skunk: “Although the tail that arises/ Is his, the shock is: /The high-tailing get together is me”; Karen Lambert’s physician who refused to function on an elbow as a result of his Hippocratic oath was to “do no arm”; Beverley Sharp’s “hip joint” (a pun we’ve achieved earlier than, however not in limerick type); and Joan Welsh’s tackle the kids’s image guide “A Home Is a Home for Me,” as carried out by Donald Trump, who, it might charitably be stated, tends to not colour inside the traces.

One other dose of Merriament*: New-word poems for Week 1506

*” Merriament” was Tom Witte’s headline for our 2018 contest.

In case you’re nonetheless within the limericking temper, you’re free to indulge as soon as once more for this week’s contest, Week 1506. However any type of poetry as much as eight traces is ok. (No multi-verse track parodies, although.) As at all times, Merriam-Webster provides a number of hundred new phrases and meanings yearly however declines to inform the general public what they’re, apart from what’s in its information launch. I did get all pouty to Meghan the very good PR individual, and he or she did, simply yesterday, come by way of with a couple of dozen extra, most of which I utilized in as we speak’s 32-term record. As with our comparable annual contest for phrases from the Nationwide Spelling Bee, I averted technical phrases and simply went with hunches about what had essentially the most humor potential.

Once I say “new phrases,” I’m not being correct; they’re new to the dictionary. In reality, the entries often say what 12 months the phrase was first seen in that specific use. Or nearly: “Pumpkin spice” has been a factor since 1931, M-W says, however I’m guessing that meant it was utilized in pumpkin pies, not espresso, cat litter and deodorant. First use of “pwn”: 1999. They are saying it in all probability comes from the concept of mistyping “personal,” as in to dominate, and so is pronounced “pone.” I’ve no drawback with ready 23 years to see if a slang phrase has endurance.

Notice that I provide you with an additional day, even should you gained’t be spending it writing entries in shul at Rosh Hashanah providers. I might by no means advocate such a factor, even within the boring sections. Anyway, you might have until Tuesday night time, Sept. 27.

I’ve been engaged on a same-genre schedule currently: a brand new poetry contest runs together with the outcomes of a earlier one, as on this week’s new phrases/limericks; earlier than that, the Week 1502 limericks appeared with the outcomes of Week 1498, the competition that requested you to make use of the phrase in a which means it doesn’t actually have. I determine that our Loserbards, particularly individuals who don’t at all times take a look at the Invite each week, shall be extra prone to discover the brand new contest in the event that they take a look at the outcomes of the previous one. It additionally retains me from crowding poetry contests too shut collectively.

Effectively, there are the meals songs of Week 1503 — and it’s a lock that I’ll be again subsequent Thursday with a bumper crop of them.

Final name for the Loser brunch at Kilroy’s, Sunday, Sept. 18, midday

(Lifted proper from an earlier Conversational)

Despite the fact that it not affords its brunch buffet, I plan to be at Kilroy’s, the WWII-decorated pub in Springfield-ish the place we’ve had many a Loser brunch. Not solely is it at all times enjoyable to satisfy new Losers and Invite just-fans and naturally the brunchin’ regulars, however my favourite Asian grocery store, Lotte, is in the identical purchasing middle, so I’ll have an opportunity to cease by. The meals is Customary Pub, there are attention-grabbing photos on the partitions, and it’s straightforward to get to and park; it’s within the previous Ravenswood purchasing middle simply exterior the Beltway on the Braddock Street exit. Please RSVP to our obliging new brunch coordinator Kyle Hendrickson at BrunchOfLosers@gmail.com; particulars on the Our Social Engorgements web page of the Losers’ web site, NRARS.org.